“Just stop! I get it!” were thoughts in my head at midnight as we drove home from the hospital. Sometimes life is hard, and then it seems to get unnecessarily more difficult. It is during times like that I find myself imagining that God kind of forgot about me – or at least He miscalculated the threshold of my capacity to handle tough stuff.
The weekend started off with wonderful plans to spend time with family and friends. Our daughter was returning from a school trip, some of my family were visiting and a big easter meal was planned.
Well, it didn’t quite turn out that way. Our son, Brett, got very ill. He was so sick we called an ambulance. During the course of the weekend, he received several very different diagnosis, and the result was an infection that will take time to heal. I, of course, did not know that in the midst of watching him suffer. I kept reminding God that he had been through enough. God reminded me that He knew that.
In the days that followed, God filled me with a powerful sense of His presence. I saw God at work through people who have been caring and showing His love to our family. God showed His love to me through the richness of His presence. He reminded me this morning, “I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with loving kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt.” Jeremiah 31:3.
You see, He knows.
He knows all of it.
every loss and every disappointment.
He is enough.
On that Saturday night, when I said to God, “enough is enough!“, He knew exactly what I meant. However, He also knew that He was still enough for me and that all I needed to do was fully rest in Him. He is not done with me. He wants to be everything to me.
I sometimes think hardship means hanging in there until things turn around and then I will on the straight-away. That isn’t quite how God does it. When the valley is deep, He is there, and when it is deeper, He is STILL there! He is my everything. He does know what I can handle and He will stay with me all the way through.
So, for today, I simply thank Him for His healing hand and for showing me that He is my everything and that we have one of the most amazing communities around us. That is the gift for today. Tomorrow, He will show me more. I simply need to listen.
Meanwhile, Brett’s dog, Jessi, is driving me crazy. She’s confused, hurt and attached to me while she wonders what happened to her beloved Brett.