Those are things I love. I don’t like to admit it, but accomplishents can make me feel significant. I love doing things that matter and have impact. Our culture rewards effort. We train children to become achievers and then wonder why they become driven adults. We are so driven, that we often neglect to celebrate. We just move on to the next thing.
I love life. I embrace it with all I’m worth. I love people and activity. I see quiet as a necessity to fuel me so I can keep going and I need for it to be short-lived.
When quiet and stillness is not my choice, it takes effort to see it as something good. It can make me feel lost and sometimes like I don’t know who I am and what I’m supposed to do. I’ve discovered that imposed stillness is an opportunity for me to be frustrated or it becomes a place where I can learn to “be”.
I have experienced unwelcome quiet. Initially, it made me want to scream. I wanted out. I wanted noise and busyness. Then I realized that the quiet was not actually silence. As my listening became fine-tuned, I could hear God speak like I’ve never heard Him before. He showed me things, He gave me insights I’ve never experienced before. I found inner rest at a time I was desperate for activity. I discovered that being alone is not being in isolation. I found myself in the ultimate presence of someone who cares more deeply than I could ever imagine. His love transcended to the depths of my soul. I discovered a meaning within myself that I didn’t know existed. I learned that Jesus is the lover of my soul. That He is my all-in-all and that He truly is my everything.
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared for us in advance to do.” Ephesians 2:10 As I rest in God, He shows me exactly what He has prepared for me. Yes, I can keep “doing” things. I don’t need to sit and meditate everyday. That isn’t how He made me. I’m not one who loves to sit and be still for long periods of time. However, I no longer see my time with Jesus as being still. It’s an exciting place of interaction, conversation and teaching. As I spend time with Him, I can truly be all that He created me to be and to do. It’s better than I could ever have imagined! My significance is not in what I do, but in knowing that it is He, the great I AM, who loves me so much that He has carefully crafted a plan for me – even when I cannot see it.
The future is not unknown.
So, what IS next? I don’t really know. I can relax in Him because He already knows. I know that He has already prepared the good works He wants me to do so that I can make a difference for Him. It’s all about Him. For Him, I live and breathe.
I receive His plan.